Le touriste

The difference these days is that Jolie (who plays the beautiful British femme fatale, Elise, who calls herself ''a mysterious woman on a train,''in case we missed it) and Depp (cast as a Wisconsin math teacher named Frank whose long hair and hipster goatee clash fatally with the corduroy jacket meant to classify him as an ordinary nerd) never persuade us that they're anyone but Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.

Reste quand même le plaisir de voir deux grandes stars évoluer dans un monde luxueux au milieu de décors grandioses. Mais avec la somme de talents réunis pour l'occasion, nous espérions quand même plus qu'un beau catalogue.

The Tourist nearly works as a slow-paced, romantic drama. Unfortunately this isn't a slow-paced, romantic drama; it's supposed to be some kind of action-thriller.

It may be the only movie ever to feature a bad performance by Johnny Depp, one of the best actors working in films. Who knew he could be wooden and unconvincing in a role? And Angelina Jolie, his love interest in this laughably bad romantic thriller, may be even worse.

You know that movie. It's the one in which Cary Grant and Grace Kelly don't just travel by train, they also trade knowing looks in the first-class dining car as the waiter fills their glasses, and a shady type secretly takes their photo.